


Roach Your Way Into My Heart

by monsterleadmehome



Series: Smutty Reylo Oneshots [30]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack and Angst, F/M, Shameless Smut, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:06:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22673779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monsterleadmehome/pseuds/monsterleadmehome
Summary: Facing her first Valentine's Day since Ben Solo broke her heart, Rey Johnson decides to do something cathartic. Seeing an ad for a special the local zoo is running, “Name a cockroach after your ex and watch it get eaten by an animal on Valentine’s Day,” she decides it sounds like a good idea. She doesn't expect that Ben will see the live feed and wonder just why exactly she has it out for him so bad.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Smutty Reylo Oneshots [30]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1519934
Comments: 53
Kudos: 323





	Roach Your Way Into My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this is a [real thing](https://www.cnn.com/2020/02/09/us/san-antonio-zoo-cockroach-valentines-day-trnd/index.html). Thanks to CNN and the San Antonio Zoo for sparking this silly little AU.
> 
> No actual insects were harmed in the writing of this fic. Thanks to [obsessivepropulsive](https://twitter.com/obsessivepro) and [dreamsdescent](https://twitter.com/dreamsdescent) for looking this crack over!

Rey Johnson sat staring at her computer screen, her face illuminated by a faint cerulean glow in her otherwise dark apartment. It was late, and she had just demolished a pint of Phish Food. She was probably also sleep deprived from the terrible week she’d had—this couldn’t possibly be a good idea, right?

 _“Name a cockroach after your ex and watch it get eaten by an animal on Valentine’s Day.”_ It was an ad for the local zoo, which was raising money for their animals with this odd arrangement. A smile crept up on her face as she imagined how hilarious it might be to watch a bug named Ben get crunched to death.

Hilarious and satisfying.

It was only February 11th, but she was already deep within the throes of Valentine’s depression. This time last year, she and Ben had been getting ready for their first romantic weekend vacation as a couple. It hurt every time she imagined how happy she had been to get away with him for a bit to that secluded cabin in the woods. It had been beautiful with the snow-capped firs, their evergreen boughs all dressed in white. But they rarely left the cabin itself, as wrapped up as they were in each other.

It had been bliss. Everything she wanted. She thought that she’d never have to be alone again. Then it all fell apart.

She wiped her nose and clicked the link. Five bucks for a good laugh and possibly some catharsis was a small price to pay.

🦗🦗🦗

Rey inherited a small shop from her grandfather, who she never knew existed until the executor of his estate tracked her down. It had been long abandoned and was downright creepy, but with a little ambition and a lot of elbow grease, she had turned it into a pet supply store.

That was why she got the newsletter for the local zoo—Rey liked to stay connected to the community, and sometimes the zookeepers would come by her shop for special treats they couldn’t get elsewhere. She had formed a special bond with Finn, the man responsible for the wild cats.

The bell chimed as he breezed into the store, already in his khaki uniform that he wore to work. “Hi, Rey! How’s it going?”

“It’s going,” she replied glumly. It was February 13th and the only thing keeping her going was the thought of watching cockroach Ben Solo meet his doom tomorrow.

“I hear ya.” He scratched the back of his head, looking slightly uncomfortable. “Listen, I know it’s last minute, but do you have any Valentine’s Day themed toys? We’re doing this big promotion and it would be great if you had some rubber hearts the ocelots could tear apart.”

Rey chuckled and showed him what she had left. In the end, he wound up purchasing a giant heart with a face and some canoodling plush bears. She was actually starting to look forward to watching the zoo’s live feed tomorrow. There was little doubt the store would be dead, and it would give her something to do while she sat behind the counter all day.

🦗🦗🦗

On Valentine’s Day, Rey reluctantly rolled out of bed and started her pot of coffee before making the trek downstairs to the shop. It was a blessing that the store had a small loft above it. It wasn’t much, but at least it was hers. She had been hoping to move in with Ben before he suddenly broke it off. She still didn’t fully understand why or what had happened.

She had been blindsided. One day everything was fine, but the next—he seemed hurt and angry as he called it off. She hadn’t spoken to him since. The truth was, Rey had never let herself get so close to someone before. Growing up without parents, it was hard for her to form attachments to anyone. But Ben had been different, and what they had seemed to transcend labels. He was her _person._

Which was why it still fucking hurt, even three months later.

She sighed as she plopped down on the stool behind the counter. The store was open, but she doubted many customers would come in. In anticipation, she hadn’t even dressed in normal clothes. She was wearing bright pink sweatpants and a t-shirt with a faded picture of Hello Kitty on it.

She sipped from her travel mug and loaded the zoo’s website on the shop computer. The ocelots were already tearing apart the toys Finn had purchased, wowing the happy crowd that was there in person. There were live feeds set up all over—she watched penguins swimming together, gorillas grooming each other, and flamingos standing around in their festive pink plumage.

As lunch time approached, the moment she’d been waiting for finally came. It was feeding time for the birds and reptiles. One of the other zookeepers, Rose, whom she had met briefly once, was calling out the names as she dropped the bugs into the pen to be devoured. Rey cracked a smile at a few of the names—as well as the colorful commentary Rose was providing.

Then it was the one she had been waiting to hear. “And this little guy is Ben Solo. Oof, tough one, Ben. Wonder what you did to deserve this.”

She dropped the roach into the terrarium and Rey watched as the giant lizard chased after it. Suddenly, it didn’t seem as funny anymore. She was imagining the bug with Ben’s personality, scared out of his mind scurrying around before the lizard cornered him and seemingly smiled wide as he chomped down on the cowering cockroach.

She winced. It didn’t feel as good as she was hoping. She looked down to see the comments on the live feed and saw lots of laughing emojis, as well as thumbs up and words of encouragement.

On the counter beside the jar of free dog treats, her phone buzzed.

> **Ben:** what the fuck, Rey?

* * *

Ben Solo hated Valentine’s Day. He always had. Ever since he’d seen the way his mother would light up when his father brought her home a bouquet or box of chocolates—as if that could ever make up for how much he was gone. How much he missed the rest of the year.

Last year had been his first good experience with the holiday, spending it all tucked away with Rey in a little cabin in the snowy woods. He made her come so many times that weekend he lost count. He had wanted to keep doing that indefinitely… for the rest of their lives.

He’d even bought a ring.

Everything was going so well. His parents loved her, and she had helped him get away from his evil boss who overworked and underpaid him. His life was so much better, all because one weekend Hux had asked him to catsit—and he ran into Rey’s store for extra litter.

Then it all went to hell.

It was a dreary Thursday and he thought he’d surprise her with flowers. Okay, and maybe ask her to move in with him. They had been talking about it, and her apartment above the shop was rather small. He’d already started clearing half the dresser for her to put her stuff in. Maybe once she’d been living there a couple months, he could ask her to marry him.

As far as Ben was concerned, there had never been and there could never be anyone else but Rey Johnson. She was everything to him.

He made his way to the back entrance of her store, where she accepted the deliveries. He thought if he could sneak in undetected, the surprise visit would go more smoothly. She was always chiding him for spending too much money on her. As if there was such a thing.

He reached for the handle on the back door, noticing it was already slightly ajar, but stopped abruptly when he heard her angrily talking on the phone. Rey was pacing—he could tell by the way the sound of her voice carried.

“Yes, but I don’t want that kind of long term commitment, especially not from him.” Her voice was irritated.

His blood ran cold.

“Well, he should have thought of that before!” A pause. “He’s giving me plenty of things I don’t want, but nothing I need.”

Who else could she possibly be talking about but him? Suddenly Ben was drawn back to the door outside his parents bedroom when he was just a child—when they were arguing about what to do with their problematic son.

“I know, I know,” Rey agreed with whoever was on the other end. “I just need to terminate the relationship.”

At those words, his face fell. He chucked the flowers in a nearby dumpster and left.

The next day, he broke it off, not giving her much of a reason. The thought of her saying all that to his face had been too much to bear, so he bit the bullet and ended things first. He thought it would hurt less, but he was wrong.

🦗🦗🦗

Freelance work was much more satisfying than anything he had ever done for Snoke. It used to be better when Rey would come home to him in the evenings, but it had been three months already—he had to stop expecting her to walk through the door.

She hadn’t bothered trying to contact him since he broke it off, probably relieved that she didn’t have to do it herself. He stayed away from that side of town, knowing if he even saw her storefront, it would break him.

He refused to catsit for Hux again.

It was somewhat of a fluke that he found himself scrolling through Facebook. He hardly ever used social media, but he needed a break from writing. A suggested post from the zoo popped up in his feed. _“Name a cockroach after your ex and watch it get eaten by an animal on Valentine’s Day._ ”

He laughed a little at such a ridiculous premise but clicked on the video anyway. The cute zookeeper girl was announcing the names of each roach as she sent it to its death in the jaws of a bird or reptile. Then she pulled the next one out, and his heart stopped as she said, “And this little guy is Ben Solo. Oof, tough one, Ben. Wonder what you did to deserve this.”

Before he could fully think it through, he had his phone out to text Rey. He thought she had wanted the split. Why would she resort to something so petty? He had given her what she wanted, hadn’t he?

> **Ben:** What the fuck, Rey?

The three little dots seemed to hover on his screen for ages.

> **Rey:** So, you saw that?
> 
> **Ben:** Yeah. I’m just a cockroach to you now?
> 
> **Rey:** I’m sorry. I thought it would make me feel better, but it didn’t

Make _her_ feel better? What did she have to feel bad about—shouldn’t she be enjoying her freedom?

> **Ben:** Why do you need to feel better? I thought I gave you what you wanted, an out

* * *

Rey was furious. How could he say that?

> **Rey:** In case you don’t remember, dumbass, YOU broke up with ME
> 
> **Rey:** I didn’t want that. YOU did.
> 
> **Ben:** No, I heard your conversation. If you’re just upset that I beat you to the punch, I get it. But there was no mistaking your intention.

Had he gone insane? She had no idea what he was talking about.

> **Rey:** What the everloving FUCK are you talking about?

She stared at her phone angrily for five minutes before realizing he wasn’t going to reply. She set it back down and clicked out of the zoo’s website. Rising from her seat, she decided to busy herself by straightening up the shelves.

Great. Not only did her fun little plan to have a laugh on a terrible day backfire, but she also had been forced to text the man who broke her heart. Before she knew it, tears were streaming down her face as she lined up the cat food. She thought about the time she and Ben had catsit for his friend. It was a cute little ginger tabby named Milicent. She swiped at her cheeks angrily, barely registering the ding of the bell over the front door.

“Rey.”

She froze. Why was he here? Slowly she turned her head to see Ben, looming as large as ever in her doorway. His dark hair was maybe a tad shorter than the last time she’d seen him. For some reason the thought of him getting a haircut without telling her sent another pang through her heart.

“Why did you come all the way over here?” Shit. Her voice sounded all small and wounded. 

“Because I’m an idiot.”

She gave him a half-smile. “Clearly.” The tears were coming back. “Why did you do it? Why did you break up with me? I don’t understand. I thought we were happy.”

She watched his resolve crumble, the way his lip quivered, the twitch under his left eye. “Three months ago, I came by to surprise you in the middle of the day. I had flowers. But I came around back and you were on the phone, talking about a relationship you needed to terminate.” He raked his hand through his hair, seemingly fighting with himself. “You said you weren’t getting what you needed and I just—I couldn’t handle it. I thought things were going well, and I loved you so much, Rey.”

“Ben—”

He didn’t let her interject. “I mean, I still do. Which was why I had to end it. I thought if I did it first, then you’d be off the hook and I wouldn’t have to watch you say the things I knew would kill me.” He glanced over at her, tears welling up in his eyes. “Tell me I was wrong… Please.”

She marched over to him and started smacking his chest. “You are a fucking IDIOT, Ben Solo!” She kept up the barrage to his firm pecs until he finally grasped her wrists, preventing any further violence. “I was talking about Tommy, one of my oldest pet food suppliers! He kept trying to push this new line of theirs on me, when he knew I only wanted to carry grain-free.”

He was still holding her wrists but his grip loosened once he realized she was done fighting him. “So you _weren’t_ going to break up with me?”

“No, you complete and utter _ass!_ I love you!” 

Rey recognized the look that crossed his face all too well. The dumb one that he wore anytime he felt like he was getting lucky, like something was just too good to be true. His mouth opened and closed. Then he finally spoke. “Still? Even with the roach thing?”

She wrestled her hands back and crossed her arms. “Why do you think I felt the need to do something dumb like that?”

He grabbed her hands this time and held them tenderly, bringing one up to his heart. “I’m so sorry, Rey. I panicked when I heard you talking like that. I didn’t want to be hurt by someone I love again. I didn’t think—”

She cut him off with a growl of frustration, even as she felt her defenses melting. “You should’ve just _talked_ to me. If you had, you would have known that it wasn’t about you.”

He nodded. “I guess I’m just not used to being loved like that,” he admitted.

“Like what?” she asked.

“Unconditionally.”

Rey gasped. “Well, I’m not used to being loved at all, so—I guess we make a great pair.”

It took her by surprise when he kissed her, so soft and tender, almost like their first kiss. “I love you. I always will.”

Rey reached over and turned the sign on the door to _closed._ Then she locked it.

Ben watched and searched her face. “Rey, what are you doing?”

“Well _you’re_ going to fuck me for Valentine’s Day. And then we’re going to have a long talk.”

His eyes darkened. “Yes ma’am.” 

She squealed as he lifted her up and carried her over to the counter, unable to stop his wandering hands. As they kissed, she combed her fingers through his hair, having missed the way it felt against her skin. She moaned into his mouth as his tongue slipped inside, making up for the past three months without contact.

Soon, his warm hands were skirting up her spine, underneath her shirt. There was just one problem. “Ben, take me upstairs. Someone could see.”

He moved his hands lower to knead her ass. “Good. I want everyone to know you’re mine.”

“Okay, but I don’t want to get arrested.”

He stopped with a groan and hoisted her back up, her legs wrapping around him on instinct. “Fair point.”

* * *

Ben stumbled up the stairs, mainly on muscle memory now—he’d climbed this flight many times, but usually not while Rey was wrapped around him. He was already hard and her center bounced against him with each step. At this rate, he wasn’t sure he’d even make it up the stairs.

“Fuck, Rey. I’m so sorry.” 

She kissed down his jawline and neck, sending more blood rushing to his cock. “I know. We can talk about that later. Right now I need you, Ben. It’s been too long.”

He reached the landing and opened the door to her place. It was a tiny studio layout, but he didn’t think he could even reach her bed. He brought her straight to the kitchen area and set her down on the counter. He peeled off her t-shirt and mouthed tender kisses over her lace bralette.

Rey scraped her nails against his scalp, and he groaned. He forgot how much he loved that. He sucked her nipples to taut peaks before kissing down her abdomen to the waistband of her pink sweatpants. She looked gorgeous in anything.

“Help me get these off, sweetheart?” His voice was low and husky— _fuck,_ he’d been so desperate for her. What an idiot he was.

Rey shifted as he pulled and shimmied to help him roll her pants and undies all the way down. Then he spread her legs wide on her kitchen counter and placed a sloppy kiss to her inner thigh. He could smell her, all musky and ready for him. Her cunt was glistening with arousal and he gave a slow, tentative lick to her folds.

 _Even better than I remembered._

She threw her head back and moaned, fingers of one hand tangling in his hair. “God, Ben. I missed this.”

He smiled up at her. “Yeah, me too.”

Then he put his mouth to better use, plunging his tongue into her entrance while nosing at her clit. Her hips bucked up into his face, and he thought he could gladly suffocate between her thighs. _What a way to go._ He brought his tongue back up to her clit and swirled as he got his fingers involved, delighting in how warm and wet she was for him.

He easily added a second finger and started thrusting readily, luxuriating in every whimper she gave him. When he gave an especially forceful suck to her flushed clit, her legs began to tremble. She was close. He crooked his fingers just so, until he could feel the texture of her inner wall—that spot that drove her crazy.

Rey wailed as she came, coating his tongue in a rush of her juices. He lapped every last bit up, thankful for the opportunity to taste her. He was never letting go again. 

* * *

“Ben, Ben, Ben,” she chanted his name over and over like a prayer, the pulses of her aftershocks still reverberating through her core.

“I can make it up to you like this every day, Rey. If you’ll let me.”

She pulled him up to standing and kissed him deeply. “You are a dumb, stupid giant. But I love you, and you’re stuck with me now.”

Rey could taste herself on his lips and tongue, heightening her arousal even further. When she came up for air, he peppered kisses all over her face. “I love you so much.”

“Now, please—just shove that massive cock inside me.” She already felt empty, even after the orgasm he just gave her. Neither she nor Ben had had much luck in the love department before meeting each other, so once they found out how enjoyable and explosive sex could be with the right person, they were very enthusiastic about it.

Ben smirked as he freed his erection. Fuck, she had nearly forgotten how big he was. There was something thrilling about how desperate they both were for it that they couldn’t even make it to the bed. Here they were in her kitchen, her completely nude on the counter and Ben with his pants around his ankles. 

She watched as he eased inside her slowly—so slowly it was nearly torture. But the stretch was incredible. None of her silicone toys could compare to his thick, silky warmth as he sheathed himself to the hilt. She could feel her muscles expand to accept him and she nearly sighed from the relief of being so full.

“Yes,” she panted into his ear as he started to move. Slow and steady strokes at first, refinding their rhythm together. The friction was exquisite, feeling every inch of him as he thrust in and out, again and again.

“You feel so good,” he breathed into the crook of her neck. His rapid breathing against her skin spurred her on as he picked up the pace. “Touch yourself for me, baby.”

Rey brought her fingers down to her clit and rubbed frantic circles, trying to reach her peak again. She could tell by the way Ben was grunting that he was close. On one particularly forceful ingress, he hit her so deep she almost saw stars. That combined with the pressure on her bundle of nerves sent her over the edge, and she felt herself contract around him as she came.

“Fuck. Love to feel you when you come.” He sucked a bruise into her neck as his hips stuttered, and he followed her into bliss, pumping her full of his spend.

Rey felt the flood of warmth inside her, and it felt like coming home. There was no one else who could ever make her feel this way.

🦗🦗🦗

After food and approximately four more orgasms, Rey sat Ben down for a long talk. They discussed the fact that they would both need to communicate their needs better if this was going to work. No more assuming. He also officially asked her to move in with him, which was what he should’ve done three months ago. She started packing immediately.

After another three months passed, Ben finally got to use the ring he had bought. Rey said yes, but she already had an idea of where they should get married.

“Oh really?” he asked, eyebrow raised. “Where?”

“The zoo.” She smirked. 


End file.
